Sex Tips From Adam and Eve: How to Get Over Cheating

You’ve been betrayed and you are a wreck. Well, join the club. Most of us at some time in our lives will be cheated on and yes, some of us will be cheatees (more about that later). How do you pick up the pieces? First of all, take care of yourself. Give yourself some space to sort out what this means to you and your relationship. Flying off the handle and physically confronting your partner in a mad rage never has a good ending. So whether, you need to count to ten before you lose your top or take a few days away from your partner, make decisions based on your own personal health. You will need to deal with the situation with as level a head as possible and allow yourself to find a way to heal. For more of sex tips from Dr. Kat, go to http://www.penelopepardee.com

You may choose to seek out a confidant or friend to process with, journal about how you’re feeling or physically blow off some steam by going for a few long runs. Just be sure you are making choices that don’t hurt you in the process -- like going out and getting revenge by bedding down the first person who buys you a drink. That will just confuse an already tenable situation. Plus hello, drunken stranger sex can lead to STDs and risky situations.

Next, get all of the facts. This usually involves talking with your partner. Most of us do want to know why and how this happened. Allowing our partners to respond – even if they don’t know for sure why they have cheated, is important. And this isn’t just about physical cheating; it can be ala Anthony Weiner via sexting and online chats or emotional cheating; which entails intimate allegiance to another person over your primary relationship. Either way, a discussion in a private place is called for.

Where to go from here? Should you stay or leave? Yes, past history is an indicator or future behavior but it isn’t the whole story. As a therapist, I have seen many couples come back from an affair even stronger and better than before. Cheating is almost always a symptom of a bigger issue in a relationship. I suggest finding a good therapist to help you identify and navigate these issues. Then you can be sure you are making the right decision for you in a way that helps you to heal and get over the betrayal. At the very least, you don’t want to carry your lack of trust and bitterness into the next relationship. No one healthy is attracted to those attributes. Trust me.

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